MOVIE BLOOD

1. Pour about three quarters as much alcohol-free, water-soluble hair gel as the amount of blood you want. 
2. Add water-soluble motor or radiator lubricant, any brand. This should be semi-opaque and slightly thicker than water. Start off with a very small amount and mix with the gel until it turns watery. 
3. Mix in about half as much red food coloring as there is liquid. Preferably, buy a "super strength" type at a bulk foods store to save money, and skip the cheap, 1 oz (29.5ml) bottles; they look too pink. 
4. Add small amounts of chocolate syrup to make the blood browner, and improve the thickness. It shouldn't be too much like water, but still very dribbly. 
5. Add small amounts of hand sanitizer if you're having trouble with a nice, drippy consistency. Be warned, this easily weakens the mixture. 
6. Check the mix. The final mix should be a little bit thicker than water, deep brownish-red, and about the opacity of milk.